by Cassandra Sales
Rule #1: Show Up
Show up and be seen! You’re going to get knocked down, you’re going to have hard days. Despite adversity, show up 100% ever single day.
“It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs,
who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst,
if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Rule #2: Cultivate Authenticity
It is a practice, and you have to practice it every day.
“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” – Henry David Thoreau
Rule #3: Set Boundaries
We let people get away with things that we know are not okay and then we get resentful. When in reality, we should have such great boundaries that never happens.
“Daring to set boundaries is having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown
Rule #4: Actively Practice Gratitude
Not just an attitude of gratitude, but actually having a plan in place to practice gratitude. Set an alarm to remind you to write down three things you’re grateful for.
“It’s not joy that makes up grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.” – David Rast
Rule #5: Embrace Vulnerability
Rule #6: Let go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not healthy striving for excellence, it’s actually a cognitive process that says “If I can look perfect, act perfect, be perfect, I can minimize shame, blame and judgment.” It’s the ultimate fear that the world will see a person for who they really are and they won’t measure up.
“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokeness.” – Shannon L. Alder
Rule #7: Explore Your Emotions
Emotions get the first crack at anything that happens to us. Recognize your emotions in a moment and get curious about them.
“Emotions make us human, denying them makes us Beasts.” – Victoria Klein
Rule #8: Build Shame Resilience
We act out when we are in shame. Recognize shame and what triggers it. Practice critical awareness.
“Unlike guilt, which is the fear of doing something wrong. Shame is the feeling of being something wrong.” – Marilyn J Sorenson
Rule #9: Risk Failure
Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before he finalized the lightbulb.
“Growth comes from the risk of failure.” -Howard Thurman
Rule #10: Don’t have any regrets
We are so self-critical. There is an ideal of what you are supposed to be. We orphan the parts of us that do not fit what that ideal is. When we do that it just leaves the critic. We all have different strengths. My strengths are not your strengths, and that is exactly what the world needs.